As soon as I invited Jesus to enter my heart I recognized that He had been knocking at the door of my heart for a long long time. I didn't know what that knocking was until I responded to it, then I realized that the knocking was a warm, familiar old friend. Jesus, Savior, standing like a stranger in the night, out in the rain - as if my window were so important that anyone would want to stand under it - serenading me with his gentle, unperturbed, patient silence, simply waiting for me to be ready.
Lately I have become attuned to a new knocking at the door of my heart, and I know exactly what it is. I recognize in it an invitation from the Holy Spirit to worship. I have become attuned to how I postpone responding to this precious invitation, how I distract myself with competing activities, how I wait for the knocking to settle down and leave me alone, how I check in later and am relieved that the one at the door has finally given up and gone home.
But somehow the knocking is coming into focus, emerging from a fog of vagueness into the forefront of my thoughts. I can talk about it now. It is a phenomenon now, a subject to write about, an issue to bring up in conversation. I am turning to face it, I am walking toward the door. I am turning the knob, I am inviting the Holy Spirit in for a nice leisurely visit. I am putting aside my knitting, switching off the TV and tuning in to what my "guest" has to say. Holy Spirit says, "Worship more!" And in that message I also recognize an answer to prayer.
How many times have I asked the Lord to show me His heart? How many times have I asked the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me, to set my feet in the right direction? How many times have I asked for more faith, a deeper walk? Any number of prayers have come forth from my mouth, and this invitation is the answer. I will grow more faith, walk closer to the Lord, find relief from the stresses, have greater clarity and certainty about God's will for me, if I just spend more time in worship. The reward is there. The answers are there.
Do I have the stamina to stay awake in the garden, to stand vigil with my Lord as He prays? Do I have enough desire to commune with my God to fight off inertia, to overcome my laziness, and go that strange new path with no tools, no computer, no pencil and paper even, no guitar or cell phone, just my heart of worship?
Jesus was washing his disciples' feet when Peter in his enthusiasm suggested that Jesus wash not just his feet but his hands and head as well. Jesus replied, "A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you." (John 13:10)
The meaning in this story told in John 13, as I heard it today, beyond the very important meaning of Jesus' example of service that He expects us to emulate by serving one another, and beyond His recognition that one of the disciples was soiled in his heart, is that we who follow Jesus have been cleansed in our spirits in a way that does not require repetition. We don't need to be saved, or wholly cleansed, repeatedly or regularly.
However, because we walk through the world, not as striclty spiritual beings as we will be in Heaven but as fleshly creatures, we pick up the filth and pollution of the world on our feet. That is, the part of us that touches the world, dominion of the enemy, must be regularly attended to with cleansing. Even clean, we continue to sin.
The task Jesus sets before us in His example of washing our feet is to attend to one another's spiritual cleanliness within the context of having been wholly saved. We must encourage one another in regular repenting in order to cleanse ourselves of the filth of sin we accumulate from walking in the world. We must participate in one another's cleansing process, as one body, as a family with no secrets, as members who trust one another with their dirty feet.
